Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
