My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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