He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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