STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
