yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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