woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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