I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I need water and some morals
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
