Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We need to rekindle our bromance
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
