Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Drake has all the answers
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
