In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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