I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
