did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
