he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm at about main and main street
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
