Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
