Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
