the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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