mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
