I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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