he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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