What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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