Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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