I'm drive I can fine osifer
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize