haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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