I wannas sexs uuuuu
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
