do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
