i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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