I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
