That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just threw up on my dentist
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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