That's intense
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
