she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
