Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
