Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
