I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
