just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
