im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize