Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
