Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
