Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
