this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Can I color on your dick again?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
