ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
