But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
