I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
