I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
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