Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
