My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
