I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
