I'm really into asian looking animals
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
