Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
