FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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