You're my little dorito
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
