lets start a swedish sibling band together
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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