My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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