Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
