therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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