i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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