Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Acid is not a monday night drug
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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