They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
