so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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