week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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