P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
