i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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