You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
