Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
are you so shy because you have an std?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
