I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
